Mini Seminar: Sex Sense

On Friday, Ben Ahunu took our second Mini Seminar of the term. It was a highly interactive session that was not only informative but enjoyed by all. Mr. Ahunu structured his talk on the first five books of the Bible. I'll briefly run through the main points of each.

Genesis: It is not good for man to be alone
Man was created as a social being; relationships are not only important, they are necessary. There are two kinds of relationship each man is required to have - a relationship with God and a relationship with man. People (or things) can't replace the part God is meant to fill in our lives and vice versa. Relationships must be build and maintained.

Exodus: It was not so from the beginning
This part of the discussion addressed certain paradigms that need to be set right. Remember; paradigms are the beliefs, viewpoints, ways of thinking etc we hold that shape the way we see the world. Some inaccurate paradigms are:

1. Some men were made for men and some women for women
2. Relationships with the opposite sex must be sexual
3. Love=Sex
4. Young people cannot abstain from pre-marital sex
5. Using a condom makes pre-marital sex ok

As Sean Covey said, "When you have incomplete [or inaccurate] perceptions about yourself or life in general, it's like wearing glasses with the wrong perception. That lens will affect how you see everything else".

Leviticus: A Kingdom of Priests
Here, Mr. Ahunu outlined ways for 'Kingdom people' to form healthy relationships with people of the opposite sex. He mentioned that there are three levels of relating to other people. First we have those who mentor you (role models) - learn from them. Next we have friends - enjoy their companionship and share with them. Finally we have protégés, or those who learn from you - teach them but don't take advantage!

Numbers: When shall I?
Here we disused the ideal age - when is the best time in to 'zoom in' on a particular person for a relationship? Mr. Ahunu suggested that you're most likely to make the right choice in our late teens/tweens. That said, a more important factor than age is maturity. Are you physically, spiritually, mentally, socially and economically mature? These things are important especially considering that relationships are for the long term. Mr. Ahunu suggests that you don't engage in a relationship unless you're thinking about gettina married within the next 2 to 3 years.

Deuteronomy: What are the commandments?
This was the concluding section of our seminar, which was summed up with 10 rules - the 10 commandments of relationships if you like.

1. Find Your God-given purpose
2. Improve yourself
3. Have a clear mental sketch of the kind of person you want (negotiables vs non-negotiables)
4. Set S-M-A-R-T goals (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time bound)
5. Pray into the future
6. Decide to court and not just date
7. Resolve to abstain from pre-marital sex
8. Watch what you watch (& listen to)
9. Watch where you go
10. Watch what you touch and with what (declare boundaries & remember - hormones are not believers!!)
    

On behalf of everyone at the Foundation and indeed all involved in the YLMP, I'd like to say a huge thank you to Mr Ahunu for all his insights!